If I had it to do all over again

                                                      First Monday of Lent

 

Lectionary texts for today:

OT: Genesis 12:1-9

NT: Mark 8:31-38

Psalm 22:23-31

 

For the last good many months Monday has been Faith Journey Narrative on the blog. I began my narrative at age four. I've gone all the way through my life up to the present. Now I'm wondering what I should write about. It's not that the faith journey is over. It's just that I covered it all up to the present. I suppose I could do Faith Journey for the last week, but that would be more of a journal than a journey.

I would be happy for any of you to make suggestions about what I should write on Mondays. Today is going to be something of an imaginary Faith Journey, as the title of this post suggests. How often I have heard people say things like, "If I had it to do all over again, I wouldn't change a thing," or "I have no regrets." Well, I have plenty of regrets and would change a lot.

By the time I was in the tenth grade I knew I wanted to be a university professor. It was a long road getting there, fourteen years and four degrees of higher education. It didn't really occur to me that I would ever want to be a parish minister. I wanted to teach History, which was my undergraduate major. I earned by A.B. degree in 1967, at the height of the Vietnam War. Besides History I had taken eight undergraduate courses in Religion, enough for a minor, though we didn't have minors at Duke in those days. I loved the four courses I had in Biblical Studies out of those eight Religion courses. I had also had two years of Greek in college and four years of Latin in high school.

If I went on to Graduate School in History my draft deferment would be over. I would be eligible for the draft. My draft number was borderline.  I had long opposed the Vietnam War and was pretty close to being a pacifist. I am a very loving person, but I am not a courageous person. I'm definitely not a fighter. 

Divinity School was my option. It offered a  three year degree with a 4-D draft deferment. I could go to Divinity School and then go on for a Ph.D. in Biblical Studies, assuming I could make super high grades and get into a Ph.D. program. So I went to Duke Divinity School. In the summers during Divinity School I worked on the Duke Endowment Field Education Program, serving in various roles in different church situations each summer. In my second summer I preached. In my third summer I worked in a group ministry program with 12 churches in the mountains west of Asheville. The pastor of one of the churches suggested that I should pursue ordination, even if I was to have a career as a Professor. I started what would become a seven year process that led to full ordination in the United Methodist Church. I also completed my Ph.D. I was qualified and certified for two different professions. 

 

Over the next 33 years I would spend 11 years as a parish minister, five at the beginning of my career and six at the end. I would be a professor for 25 years, during seven of which I also served as a college chaplain. I have no regrets about being in either of those professions. I'm glad I did both. If I had it to do all over again; however, I would do it quite differently. I can teach. I'm glad I had the opportunity to do it in both those careers. Alas, I don't have the brain of a scholar. I do have the heart of a pastor. 

 

More on this next Monday. Bible Study tomororw

 

God of the wise, God of the faithful,

We pray for wisdom and for faith as we move our lives forward. Help us to feel more fully and to fulfill more faithfully your calling in our lives. In Christ who calls us. Amen.

 

Faithfully,

Christian