Second Tuesday after the Epiphany
I served under two university presidents during my eighteen years at Elon. They could hardly have been more different, their names were Fred and Leo. I could write paragraphs on the differences, but a colleague there summed them up in two sentences. "If you proposed any new idea to Fred, he would immediately, almost reflexively, give you at least five reasons why we couldn't do it. If you proposed a new idea to Leo, he would immediately say, 'How can we make this happen.'" Elon thrived under Leo's leadership.
The Disciple II at UUMC class that I emergency filled in co-teaching in late October or early November 2011 got great reviews from the class members. At the beginning of 2012 I wrote a detailed four page proposal for a new adult Sunday School class that I would teach. It would be an intentionally low commitment class, no reading assignments, no duties for class members other than showing up when they wanted to. The subject would be Bible Study. I thought this would appeal to a segment of the congregation that was too busy to have Sunday School responsibilities.
I gave the proposal to Carl King, the pastor, and made an appointment for later in the week to talk about it. When I came to the appointment, Carl said a flat out No. He said we didn't have room for a new class. I was a bit shocked that my proposal was not even being considered. Four months later Carl called me and said I could start the class that September. I didn't ask what had changed. I taught the class from that September, 2012 until the pandemic hit in March, 2020, eight years. The "No" I had received in that January, 2012 meeting, would be the first of many.
In 2012 at church one Sunday everyone was given a form to fill out listing all the possibilities for service in the church, including all the committees. We were also told to rank our preferences for committee assignments. We were told we would be hearing from a member of the Nominations Committee within the next month, if we were being invited to serve on a committee. I did not get a call. I have not gotten a call since. I have done a number of things for the church but always by own asking, at times almost begging to do them. I did serve a two year term on the now defunct Discipleship team, after asking Delores, our associate pastor at the time, if I could be on something she was in charge of. I have also served as lector. Like everyone else who is a lector I interviewed for the position and had a session of lector training. I was accepted for the position. I did serve a brief term on the Stewardship Committee. There was a notice in the church's weekly email asking for volunteers. They didn't have enough people. I volunteered. Carl asked me to head a ad-hoc sermon review committee. I did that for several months but Carl missed a couple of the meetings and eventually said he had too many meetings to go to, so the committee disbanded. I was also asked to write two or three sentence introductions to the scripture lessons that were read by the lector but were not the lesson being preached on. I did this for about two years. Most church members did not know I was writing them. One of the associate pastors asked for me not to write them anymore. I was not given a reason.
I have never quite grasped why I haven't been wanted for committee work. I never wanted to be in leadership but I did want to serve. I don't want to be a Committee Chair; I just want to be a committee member. I have always felt like I have a lot to give, but have never been asked. I have asked various clergy staff to tell me why I'm never asked, what I'm doing wrong. I've never gotten any clear answer. I have been told more than once that I would be asked, but it never happened.
I don't know whether you're as uncomfortable reading this as I am writing it. It is a part of my faith journey and that's what I'm writing once a week. I have made my peace with it. I have done a lot of self-examination. I have come up with some reasons, some things I have done wrong. I'll talk about them next Monday. I am deeply grateful for all the wonderful people I have come to know over my ten years at UUMC, and I am grateful, of course, for all you who are reading this.
Faithfully,
Christian
1 comment:
I'm proud of you for writing this. I find that often people with experience and expertise, especially if they are older, are clearly excluded from participating in roles like committees. I can only chalk it up to the leadership being threatened. This is a great way to kill an organization. Much like refusing to bring up new talent and create a succession plan, not taking full advantage of the wisdom and talent of those who have served for many years is not just a loss, it's an injury.
As someone who has served in executive positions since I was 27 and has a Masters in Public Health I was asked when I applied for the job of Contact Tracer, something to the effect of, "What is someone with your experience doing applying for an entry level job?" A lot other truth would be that I needed a job because I like many had been laid off due to COVID! But I could honestly answer that at this point, I wanted to serve, let others lead, and have the hours after 5 pm to pursue other things in my life. I don't want to be in charge of something right now. I'm extremely fortunate to work for an organization that both aggressively promotes new talent from within and takes advantage of the wisdom of us old folks with respect. Now that I've been promoted to a job that requires much more education and medical experience, many of my colleagues are my age or older, including many experienced Registered Nurses. Most of our supervisors and coaches are young, energetic women who are even fresh out of school or grad school. We have this almost magical synergy on our team where we all love and respect each other. It makes us strong, in a job where we spend all of our days telling people they have tested positive and giving hard instructions about how to isolate, talking with people whose loved ones are hospitalized or just died yesterday, and taking time off from their jobs that could cost them that month's rent. We pull together. Intergenerational love and respect makes organizations strong.
And sometimes I joke, "Look sweetie, when I want to be running an organization again, I will be."
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